Ego - Layer 06














Photo © 黒の契約者 .
岡村 天斎.
BONES.

"Put your desires aside,
Focus on what is right,
If you let ego in you way,
You shall never see the light..."


Dearest,

This Eid was horrible for me. I betrayed a friend in her most desperate hour of need. There's nothing more I can say or do, so that can undo what I have done.
My father always tells me, "Your tongue is your worst enemy."
I have learnt the truth of it all too painfully this year, when I had to swallow my own words.
:'(

Pain endurance can only be borne so much.

I went around places to my friend's and neighbor's places, to clear my head, but nothing I did would rid me of the hurt I had brought upon me.
Men, it seems, shall never learn from their mistakes.

I lied to her once, and she forgave me, but this time it was different.

This time... it was personal.

No matter how many sorries I told her, I believe this shall be the last time she would ever speak with me. And that is what is tearing me apart. It seems my ego and stupidity got the better of me.
I feel the urge to kill someone but it would only be justified for that 'someone' to be me.

I have betrayed her trust for the second time as a friend and I doubt she shall give me a chance for a third.

Sigh.

There's more pain to this life it seems, my dear, and most of it is wrought by one's own self to themselves... It's so painful and difficult! Why is it so painful and difficult?

Pray that I receive an answer to it soon, so that I can talk to you about it.

Till we meet again...

♥ always...

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