Another envelope

listening to Meteora...

Sam,We never really knew each other, yet we know everything about each other.I think you knew I had feelings for you from back then.Yeah..I don't know if you felt sorry for me. I never cared. I never cared at all. I sent you home with a brown envelope with your name on it. I didn't know what to get for you. All I knew was we had similar tastes in music.I don't want any part of you to be confused. I can't persuade you, you can't persuade me. This has nothing to do with the fact that you came for a visit, and has everything to do with the fact that you came for a visit. I had come that day to ask you out or would have met with you every single day if I had I known you were back. I didn't know you were back.


I can't really remember why I uploaded that song to you end of June. I just felt something, maybe my subconscious.  idk, Numb.Believe or don't it's up to you, but my feelings for you will never change. It's those feelings from way back then. If you think it's weird or awkward press Ctrl+F4 right now.I had come that cloudy Friday afternoon to say how much I always felt for you, and that the feeling will be like that forever.Or not say it, and live a lie forever.Sam, this has nothing to do with my ability to write nicely. I just can. None of this is a lie and I think you know that.Sam, I don't know what kind of person you are now, but I am talking to you as I remember you. As I will always remember you. How much have you changed? Or haven't you? They say some people never change. People change, but lives don't if that makes any sense. (Yes, I just made that up)Sam, I won't say that I love you because it was always much more than that. We'll always be best friends. :)Sam, you make me wanna shoot hoops again.Sam, I waited years to say this to you. Why? bcz I'm shy af. What if, just what if you were in my position? We won't be forever.Samantha, did you ever like me? I'm not extravagant. There are one hundred thousand million reasons why I'm saying this after all these years, but let me just begin by saying that my feelings for you will never change.No matter how far you were or how much you've accomplished, what you've done or what you say, I will always have this feeling for you. I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart. This isn't my proposal to you. I'm too nervous a person to say it, and I've never said this to anyone and never will. It is only my deepest held secret that I'm sharing with you after all these years.I'm really sorry if you weren't expecting this. I know you understand.Spillin' it now after all these years bcz ur return and departure, or otherwise? maybe.
Everything was different back then, do you remember? Everything was slow, everything was nice, everything felt right, everything was good back then. Everything had meaning back then. Everything was simple.
You were a genius back then, and you're a genius now, and I admit I have always had a slight jealousy for you. We were kids back then, everything was different. Everything was innocent.Everything's changed now.
It just, idk... I just don't know what to say at all.
Be good, Sam.
We can go back to the pavement whenever you want.

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